Idol Worthy

Thanks to Metro New York's article today, I found my future child's idol: Crystal Harris! She is already very successful at the young age of 24, has been able to overlook her Love's...obstacles, and recognizes the importance of befriending elders.

What's that? She is succesful because of Pl--nooo!!!! Her Love's obstacles are...what??? Her befriended elder is who???

I am doomed. My future child will be crushed. Crystal deceived me! She looked so innocent in the paper, see for yourself:



Oy vey. In case you are scratching your cabeza, let me fill you in. Crystal's Playboy success has hurled her to Hef-marriage status, as her $90k engagement ring screams. Fine. We know how the Hef rolls. But what about those previously mentioned "obstacles"? You know, the one that says, "Hi. I'm marrying a man 60 years older than I."...? Or, how about the one that says, "Hi. I'm marrying an 84 year old and on our honeymoon..."--wait a minute, I don't want to talk about an 84 year old's relationship at all, let alone the honeymoon.

Most perplexing of all, is Ms. Harris's totally PR'd statement. "I don't notice the age difference with Hef at all. If anything, I have to keep up with him!" Come onnnn, can I be spared even a teensy weensy bit??

I am shocked. I am baffled. I am crying. Although, I don't know if these emotions are due to oozing desire for fame & money their relationship, the fact that HH is still (dare I say) going strong, or the fact that I now have to begin searching for future baby's celebridol all over again.